Showing posts with label just kidding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label just kidding. Show all posts

13 May 2012

Elements of Style: Fly Fishing Writers' Edition


Photo not by Tosh Brown
Considering becoming a published fly fishing writer?

It might seem to hard to break into the scene, but after spending significant time reading various fly fishing magazines & books, I think I've developed a sure-fire formula for success.

It goes a little something like this:

1. Opening (choose one):
  • a) Fishing was epic, with grins/laughs/high-fives after every fish (which are released unharmed, of course).
  • b) The fish were elusive, with long, tense moments of self-reflection obviously required to ensure fishing success.
2. Setting (choose one):
  • a) Well-known location, using new techniques (e.g., Henry's Fork, using the new Swedish-Croatian nymph rig from a paddle board while casting between your legs).
  • b) Top-secret location in own backyard. Props for it being in or near a major urban centre. Extra style points if it's New York City, Denver or Miami.
  • c) DIY trip, with only a loincloth-wearing native guide emotionlessly leading you on into the unknown in pursuit of legendary fish.
  • d) Exclusive trip with semi-famous ______ (insert one or more of: angler / writer / artist / conservationist / guide / business tycoon / actor) to a very remote and expensive luxury lodge.
3. Background (choose one or more, where appropriate):
  • a) Brought back from brink of extinction (e.g. blackened redfish, striped bass collapse of 80's, etc)
  • b) New species for the fly rod, made popular by one or more anglers who couldn't afford ______ (insert one of: gas / airfare / guide fees / spending winter bored / rent)
  • c) Stu Apte
  • d) Ted Williams (baseball player)
  • e) Lefty Kreh
  • f) Lani Waller
  • g) Thomas McGuane
  • h) Billy Pate
  • i) Izaak Walton
  • j) Homer Rhodes
4. Use a Latin name once:
Examples may include: Salmo salar (Atlantic salmon), Morone saxatilis (striped bass), Megalops atlanticus (tarpon), Hexagenia limbata (the 'Hex Hatch') and Baetis (BWOs, mayflies, whatever).

5. Consider using colloquialisms (a.k.a. good ol' boy speak) for fish, where appropriate:
Examples may include: bull-reds, poons, 'bows, smallies, bucket-mouths, hawgs, cows, stripahs, etc.

6. Name-drop some of the equipment used:
Examples may include: a high-end rod/reel company, a boutique bamboo rod builder, and/or the creator and name of a hot fly pattern.

7. Food:
Always mention the _______ (insert one of: curiosity /  flavour explosion / extravagance) of experiencing the locally-prepared dish for the _____ (insert one of: first time / nightly meal / fiftieth time).

8. Conclusion (choose one):
If using Opening a):
  • i) More grins/laughs/high-fives in the satisfaction of having continued epic fishing throughout the day.
  • ii) Contentedness as the sun sets, enjoying the conversation & companionship of anglers after a great day of fishing over _____ (include one of: great food, cold beer, scotch & cigar, tropical cocktails).
If using Opening b):
  • i) After long-periods of ______ (insert one of: self-reflection, patience, dealing with adversity), a fish is landed, and the angler-writer is all the wiser for the time spent not catching fish.
  • ii) Contentedness* as the sun sets, enjoying the conversation & companionship of anglers after a tough day of fishing over _____ (include one of: great food, cold beer, scotch & cigar, tropical cocktails), and the angler-writer is all the wiser for the time spent not catching fish
* - This contentedness is not real but the angler-writer must portray contentedness in his/her writing. Feel free to swear, drink & smash things over getting skunked in private settings.

9. Photography (choose one of the following options. No substitutions permitted*):
  • a) Brian O'Keefe
  • b) Tosh Brown
  • c) Barry & Cathy Beck
* - Exception: Art by Bob White may be considered

10) Submit to (choose one or all):
  • a) Mainstream fly fishing magazine.
  • b) Mainstream hunting/fishing magazine.
  • c) Independent publishing house.
  • d) Independent-looking/acting division of a major publishing house.
Following the preceding steps seemingly ensures long-running success in the fly fishing literary world.

You can thank me later.
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