411#3: A Proper Stroll Around London-town

Time/Date: 0825 GMT, 17-Feb-11
Location: London

This is a long one, so there's music at the top and the bottom to get you through this.

After wandering around seeing the sights for the past couple of days, Matt & I figured we walked about 45km.

Having mastered the art of walking, we decided it would be prudent to add a new level of difficulty: add booze. The following is how it transpired:

It begins...

1823 drink 1st Red Bull en route to next stop
1830 Round #2: The Fitzrovia. Kronenbourg 1664 Cold, £7.40 for 2
1846 just discovered, via SkyNews, Justin Bieber is in town. We continue to drink, feeling absolutely no Canadian pride over this.
1902 Round #3: The Northumberland Arms. Vodka-soda, £8 for 2
1920 Round #4: The One Tun (not a typo). Dark Rum-coke, £7.54 for 2

Should have mentioned this BEFORE you served us dark rum

1929 Matt: "this is a good idea, no matter what country you're in."
1945 we discuss the logistics of "sacking York." Hurdle of this: not knowing where York is.
1957 Round #5: The Green Man. Vodka-soda, £5 for 2. Arsenal-Barcelona have filled pubs. Silly bastards cheering about boring things.
2006 I decide there is no amount of booze that could make soccer exciting/enjoyable for me.
2016 Mat: "Ummm, it appears we're in the porn district. I just want food."
2018 Server: "We haven't any room right now." Mat to Matt: "If their dining room wasn't the size of a closet they wouldn't have this problem."
2025 Round #6: unknown bar with kitchen open, after striking out for food at 3 other places. Matt: Stella Artois, Mat: Carling or Carlsberg. Both: Chicken Club Platters. Total: £19.50 for everything.
2043 Everything gets dipped into HP Sauce. Mat: "When in Rome..." Not entirely sure if that saying is applicable. Don't care.

The condiment of the angels

2101 This beer tastes like polluted sea water. Eff you, Carling...or Carlsberg...
2107 the place with the awesome club sandwich & the polluted sea water beer is called St. James Tavern.
2112 Round #7: The Blue Posts. Matt: dark rum-coke, Mat: vodka-soda. £6.60 for both
2133 we fail to see any blue posts in this establishment.
2135 Matt found the blue posts. They're 3" tall, semi-hidden behind the bar
2141 Round #8: Waxy's Little Sister. Matt: rum-coke, Mat: vodka-red bull. £11.20. My bad. Red Bull added to price substantially.
2145 Mat: "I have no idea where the f**k we are in this city right now."
2152 Billy Joel's We Didn't Start the Fire comes on. Sadly, I remember when it was originally released. Two twenty-something Brits sing along. I cringe.
2202 We find ourselves in Chinatown.

Wong turn, maybe?

2206 Homeless guy offers weed for a cigarette. No deal. Matt: "How often can you drive away a homeless guy offering weed in London?" Mat: "I knew what I was doing."
2213 Round #9: The Golden Lion. Matt: rum-coke, Mat: Guinness. £7.20 for both.
2234 At this stage if the night, Guinness was a very poor choice.
2305 we retire, start trekking back to hotel. Matt indulges in the the traditional English snack of Kentucky Fried Chicken on the way back.
2308 first pee in public in London. I blame KFC for being bags o' douche with their bathroom policy.
2320 I cave to my symptoms of croissant withdrawal. But no cravings for the Sizzling King Prawn crisps. Bacon-flavoured crisps? Damn straight.

Oh God...

Damn straight...

411#3