Location: Estado de Guerrero, Mexico
My pocket-sized Latin American Spanish phrasebook did not have the following useful phrases:
- "I'm sorry, sir, but I am not smuggling a weapon. It is a fly-tying vice. If you sit tight for 8 minutes, I can tie you up a Clouser Deep Minnow."
- "I do not wish to drink Dos Equis, as it is the beer of douchebags back home."
- "Do I receive Aeroplan miles for this hotel stay?"
- "Your food looks very tasty, but I'm worried it will give me the shits."
- "Kidnapping me will embarrass us both. I'm not wealthy, and the food costs of keeping me will be higher than any ransom you will receive."
- "Would you by chance know how to whip-finish this Clouser Deep Minnow?"
- "Do you know Salma Hayek? I have a friend that thinks she is cute."
- "I pray to Jesus you have more toilet paper than this."