Personal visions of hell

Time/Date: 1520, 13-Dec-10
Location: a very soggy F'ton

How soggy? Well, 80-130mm worth of rain is forecasted. Awesome the dog is risking his bladder bursting instead of venturing out in that.

This post was inspired by a bbm conversation with Bucky a few minutes ago:

Bucky: Canadian Sportfishing today did a special on icefishing brook trout
Mat: Ice fishing is the fishing they do in hell in my mind.
Bucky: Yeah! But they were landing 4lb trout
Mat: In the cold. And sitting doing nothing while waiting for the trout to come to their bait. In the cold.
Mat: Could I emphasize that whole 'in the cold' thing a little more? I'd rather go listen to celtic music & have someone call out 'sociable' after every song.

Lecture room for UNB Physics 1040

With that, I've decided to share with you my 2 main personal visions of hell, based on previous life experience:

1. Taking a full-year physics course in the summer.
I did this back in Ought-Three. The course started in the last week of May and finished in the second week of August. It ran four nights a week, Monday through Thursday, from 6:30-9:30PM. There were assignments due almost every class, so Capital O & I would be working on these assignments almost every night until midnight. This class was one of the worse experiences in my (lengthy) academic career.

During the last week of classes, I thought to myself, "My vision of hell would be sitting in this class for all eternity, and then, on the last day of class, the Devil would burst through the door, sodomize me with my failed final exam, tell me I had to do the course again, and make me pay another $800 for it."

2. The Irish bar
I was in shock when I saw the Sopranos episode with Chris, Tony & Pauly talk about the Irish bar in hell:

Christopher Moltisanti: I'm going to hell, T. 
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: You're not going anywheres but home. 
Christopher Moltisanti: I crossed over to the other side. 
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: You what? 
Christopher Moltisanti: I saw the tunnel. And the white light. I saw my father in hell. 
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Get the fuck outta here! 
Christopher Moltisanti: And the bouncer said that I'd be there, too, when my time comes. 
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: What bouncer? 
Christopher Moltisanti: The Emerald Piper. That's our hell. It's an Irish bar where it's St. Patrick's Day every day forever.


The reason for my shock: because several years before, someone wanted to go see a certain celtic band at a certain Irish pub.

My response: "My vision of hell is a god-damned Irish bar with celtic music, probably 'Farewell to Nova Scotia' over & over again. The only break from the shitty music is the lead singer screaming out "Sociable!" every three minutes, you raise your bottomless mug of shitty, warm Keith's draft, and drink."


To me those would be the worse possible scenarios for my demise during end times.

At least they might let me go ice fishing for my 2-week vacation per millennia.

Do you have any personal visions of hell you want to share? Throw 'em down in the comments section.

Here's some music, enjoy.